I Will Always Love You

Our final days in KwaZulu-Natal included a day safari, rehearsals for a final concert, meetings and interviews with informants, photo sessions, video shoots and packing (yikes - that one nearly gave me a melt-down) and two Durban excursions.  After teaching my final class, I met with group leaders.

There are 18 small groups of 10/11 students each - totaling 189 students in my Arts and Culture class.  I taught in a large lecture hall part of the time, and took half the class at a time outside so that we could experience singing games, peer coaching techniques and methods for assessment of children's music learning.  The absence of internet communication, power points, handouts, and a much needed microphone made the teaching situation challenging for me...but more importantly, it showed me how challenging it is for future teachers to learn in crowded university classes without high-tech study aids and individual attention.  There is a class rep - Mr. Dlamini, who served as a communicator for me and would sometimes address the students to further explain my instructions or to divide them into groups for meetings and Q&A sessions.  The regular instructor observed my teaching and commented on my instructional style at a Farewell Programme (notice the two m's and e at the end) in my honor Monday night.  She said that my style of teaching students by actually having them sing children's songs and play children's music was new to her.

Farewell Programme at the Arts and Culture Centre

 The farewell programme was hosted by by the UniZul Choral Society and the International Linkages Director Gugu Gule.  It was a formally delivered program, complete with program directors, gift presentation, speeches and a reception at the end.  The choir sang some of my favorites as I had requested, and I directed them in an African American spiritual as well as one last rendering of the national anthem.  Dolly Parton most certainly knew what she was talking about when she wrote:

 “…so I’ll go, but I know I will think of you each step of the way.  I will always love you.”

When it was time for me to speak, I could hardly compose an appropriate few sentences of thanks and farewells, so I cut my thank yous short and did sing I Will Always Love You at the piano.  I knew that some of those present knew the song, but I was very surprised that it was such a popular song among the group.  I realized that all this time I was studying Zulu culture and learning their music and ways of thinking, many of them were studying me and learning my way of thinking.  My colleagues and students shared what they had learned from me, and much of it surprised me.  Some spoke of my willingness to learn the language, and one colleague said she learned by watching me engage my students with experiences rather than lectures.  As a teacher I cannot imagine any better gift those testimonies to my belonging in their musical learning community.

Shophi and Suzi

The first of the Durban excursions included an interview with a beautiful traditional musician named Shophi Ngidi, a forum presentation at the University of KwaZulu-Natal, and then dinner and home hospitality at the home of our new friends Herman and Gordon.  In between all of it, we managed to eat lunch on the 32nd floor-rotating restaurant called Roma’s where the view of Durban was magnificent – all 360 degrees of it.  UKZN has a well-established Ethnomusicology department, and the forum attendees asked many questions and suggested contacts and directions for my continuing research into Freedom songs and folkloric music. 

The second trip was a slower paced one, because on Tuesday September 14, we packed all of our things and left my home of the past three months in the morning, then attended a reception for the visiting American Ambassador to South Africa in the afternoon.  The day began in tears for me, because I felt torn apart after having spent three months assimilating into the rural community surrounding the University of Zululand. 

The Mills with Ambassador Donald Gip

It was hard letting go of it all.   Bhekani Buthelezi accompanied me on several outings during my time in KZN, and made a study of ethnographic research by using me as his lens.  Having observed my efforts at getting all the relationships right, he once told me that he supposed one must prepare oneself for the separation of leaving a community before even entering.  I’m not sure if that would even have been possible for me.  I did prepare by making time for final meals and visits with my new friends, but there is just no preparation for that pang of grief I felt when Dennis took my first suitcase and put it in the car.

Photos by Dennis Mills

Dennis arrived at the King Shaka International Airport in Durban Wednesday night carrying his camera, and a computer for video and photo editing.  His work began immediately, as you will see in this blog space.  He sat in on my Zulu lesson and we attended the opening ceremonies for the University of Zululand hosted Heritage Festival.  Choirs from Durban University of Technology, University of Johannesburg - Soweto Campus and Cantata Chorale (a local competition choir) participated and I had the pleasure of conducting the closing song at the end of the concert on Saturday afternoon. 

The song was "N'kosi Sikeleli Africa"which is the South African national anthem.  The text is composed in several languages, because it combines previous versions of black and white national anthems.   I enjoyed rehearsing with the UZ choir in preparation for their rendering of the song a week ago for an international conference.  We were invited to open the conference by singing the national anthem and I was very happy to be invited to conduct.  I especially enjoyed the visit of two professional choral directors from other universities in South Africa, because I became something of a student conductor in a master class.  For the first time in years, I was able to get some much needed guidance on my directing and some pointers for working with choirs.  The UZ choir is quite good, and they are well-disciplined.  They are actually a student organization called The UniZul Choral Society, and report to the Dean of Students, not the Music department.  They rehearse every day, except Saturdays and often rehearse for hours at a stretch.

Choir membership in South Africa is a way of life.  The musicians sing at events in the community and are held in high esteem by many people.  Whether students, community or church members, they seem to take the responsibility of being a musician very seriously.  I really admire this characteristic and have often felt that being a musician carries some responsibility as well as some great privileges.  As a musician, I have sung and played at countless weddings, funerals, parties and all kinds of gatherings.  I have witnessed many important life events of loved ones and of strangers.  As a music researcher, it is rewarding to observe South Africans singing  - or rendering as it is called here - and rewarding to be allowed and invited to participate.  This participation is one of the great privileges, and I often find myself nearly moved to tears by these experiences with South African musicians.

Dennis' photography is adding a wonderful component my work here, besides the joy of being back together, which is where we belong!  Going through the photos with him and talking about the process of photography and organizing photographic data gives me a dimension in my thinking and a partner in my work.  His photos of me working give me pause, as I have never really thought about how I look to other people while I'm working.  I didn't know how much I smiled or frowned when I'm talking and concentrating.  His photos of other people help me see them as a future student might.  By that, I mean that someone who has no familiarity with South African singing needs a frame of reference.  Having a photographer who is also my husband helps me construct a frame of reference that I no longer need, but others will, if they are going to benefit from my experience.

Because of the teachers' strike, I have been able to spend a great deal of time with many teachers, who are temporarily available for my endless questions - every day until the strike ends.  The teachers have been contributing a great deal to my understanding of culture and music education in South Africa.  With their help, I have been to visit several choirs and directors, and interviewed some of the teachers themselves as cultural informants.  I have a written statement of my research purpose and consent forms that I am required to use by ASU's Institutional Review Board policies.  Sometimes Bhekani Buthelezi (who is also a temporarily available teacher as well as UniZul Choral Society director and University of KwaZulu-Natal post graduate student) instructs me to put the paperwork away and just talk with people.    Sometimes, as was the case with Isicathamiya musicians in Durban, he does the talking for me.  In those instances I have developed a earnest look to wear on my face  - and if  I concentrate, I can follow the general gist of the conversation.